voice;

[onlytwilight]

[When the post comes on, there's a few moments of silence and then somewhat erratic breathing.]

About...About how I acted... I'm sorry. I don't - I don't know why I was like that. I'm really sorry. [He pauses and sighs.] I'm...not sure how else to say it.

Riqis, Axel. Alex. I really am sorry.

I'll...I'll be over to pick up Rakuen soon, Konan. I'll bring him back before tonight, promise.

[There's a prolonged pause as he searches for the words to say, if there's anything else.]  ...I'm sorry about this morning, Terra. And this whole week. I'm sorry.


[Private to Self | Unhackable]

I understood everything he said, everything he thought. I don't...even know where to begin with that. I remember what he - what I did. Every action, every thought, every word was mine.

So who's the real guilty party? Is that who I'm going to be?

He's right. I shouldn't exist. I'm a keybearer. I'm supposed to protect people, or help worlds, or...I don't know. Do something. Instead, I killed every other keybearer on that side. I destroyed them all. ...I hope that if that ever happens again, someone will destroy me before I do anything. 

They didn't deserve what I did. He didn't deserve it. How am I supposed to fix this?

Comments

[todomarishi]

It wasn't... None of that was your fault. You don't have to apologize.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

What I said and what I did to you... That was unacceptable.

[todomarishi]

You did nothing. That wasn't you.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Right.

[todomarishi]

It wasn't. That was just another of the gods' tricks.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Okay.

[todomarishi]

... You're stronger than this. You have to be.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

You're not him either, Terra. You're not who was here.

[todomarishi]

I know that.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Alright.

[getyourzexy-on.livejournal.com]

You are not forgiven.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Your name wasn't on that list. If he wants to forgive me or not, he can tell me himself.

[getyourzexy-on.livejournal.com]

Imagine my surprise.

Stay away from him. You've done enough.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Again, that's his own decision, not yours.

[getyourzexy-on.livejournal.com]

Continue to push me and I'll decide for both of you.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Zexion, for the last time, I'm not taking Axel from you. I don't know what memo you two are reading that makes him think I'm with someone else or makes you think I'm going to take him, because it's false.

Go away, stop talking to me, and leave me alone. There's no reason for you to even be on here. I'm apologizing to Axel and that's it.

[getyourzexy-on.livejournal.com]

My greatest consolation is that you don't understand.
And given your history, you likely never will.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

I'm not just another Roxas. I'm not going to run away from him but I want him to do what he wants.

Get off your high horse. He chose you but you're here angry with me because I want to apologize. Yes, this is logical of you.

[getyourzexy-on.livejournal.com]

Stop.

Just stop.

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

You want it to stop? Then make it stop, Zexion. Stop reading.

[myownmemory.livejournal.com]

That was you?

wow way to make him feel better

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Re: wow way to make him feel better

[myownmemory.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry Roxas, I'm sorry...

I thought you were...some other kind of replica.

But all the keyblades, how di- Well I guess I had one too, and I'd never died, so it should have been obviously possible, but-

...This...this...I hate this place! That the gods can just do that? Make us think we're someone el- no, no, just a different kind of ourselves? That's even worse!

[onlytwilight.livejournal.com]

Riqis... It's okay. It's okay, alright?

I don't want to talk about that. I don't. Please.

Sometimes things are good, and sometimes...well. We can't stop what they do. We just have to keep going and help each other.

[myownmemory.livejournal.com]

Well you can't just pretend it didn't happen!

...How do we know when we can even trust each other, when even our memories and our whole...lives change into something so different!

Was it all an illusion? Did I really look like Riku looks now, to you?